Lovebirds
by acus magnetica
Summary: Hidan acts as the nice guy to help two of his fellow akatsuki members out. Rated M for language.


„Say that again…", Hidan begged munching happily the content of a new bowl of popcorn. His gaze was fixed on Sasori, who was shifting nervously under Hindan's' gaze.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself? He said: I love you during sex last night!"

"Wow, this is really tough bullshit, puppet face… man, you're screwed, my arse, I mean.. Sasori, you are royally fucked… Haha", Hidan answered, imagining the delightful bliss Deidara must have been in for a tailspin like that. But something else concerned him even more. And that were the two problems at hand:

1. Sasori was utterly overtaxed by the situation

2. Deidara was gone

The redhead just needed some nice words and someone to cheer him up. Tobi would do a bang-up job here, and if he might unnerve Sasori, the redhead would surly redeem the whole organization from the little pest. Hidan shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth. Yeah that would be the best way to cheer the puppet up, but what could he do to get Deidara back home? In the first place they didn't know where the blonde went off and secondly what if he hurt himself badly. As far as Hidan was informed the blond had no extra heart like Kakuzo, or a deal with Jashin so that he might survive a suicide action. He had heard of it… Desperate lovers, whose feelings weren't returned, nourish the hope to find peace in never ending sleep. Hidan got up, grabbed his scythe and walked towards the door. "Hey where are you going?" Sasori asked. "Sending you someone to comfort you and getting your pretty baby back here!" Hidan yelled and got out.

Outside the Headquarter he turned left. There were exactly two places were Deidara could have gone. One: To find redemption he would meet Uchia and try to blow him up, which would have only one possible outcome: Deidara trapped in a genjutsu for the rest of his life. Two: The freaking artist was sitting somewhere near the river brooding over a plan how to say sorry to Sasori without making a bigger fool of himself than he already was.

While he was thinking Tobi approached him: "Hidan! Would you like to have a cookie. Tobi is such a good boy and brought his favorite mass murder a delicious chocolate chip cookie!" Hidan slapped him across the head: "Nope douche bag, but Sasori needs some, go and unnerve him, before I cut you in half!" "Theheh… Tobi is a good boy", and with that the masked ninja rushed inside to console Sasori. Hidan decided to visit the Uchia first, but instead of knocking on Itachis door he simply piled it open, just to find a heavily blushing Itachi who was busily polishing his nails in a new bright red. "Ehhhhhm…" "Woops, sorry Itachi, didn't mean to interrupt your little beauty ritual, you haven't seen Deidara around, have you?" "Nope" the Uchia replied and focused on painting his nails again. "It's nice to know someone else does a ritual from time to time, you know" Hidan blabbered. "Hidan?" "Yupp?" "Make sure to close that door properly, will you?" "Yes" Hidan hooked the door back in and ran off."Man I'm such a lucky bastard. Bet Uchia would have killed me, if his nail polish had been dry…" he thought while he was striding towards the river. When he arrived he saw that his second guess had been right. The artist was sitting near the shore, busily forming clay figurines.

"You wanna blow up the whole headquarter or what sick – o?" Hidan called out. Deidara looked up, his technical eye focusing on the Jashinist. "Well, hello there Hidan, say did you have a good time laughing your head off, un?" Hidan grinned: "Yeah I had. And the popcorn I had was incredibly tasty, but I'm sorry to say that the other weirdo, your lover boy, is having a rough time by now!" "Oh really, un?" "Yeah dipshit, he is. Now come on back home!" "Why should I, un?" "Because I wanna see if Sasori has shredded Tobi to pieces by now!" "Why should he, un?" "Because I've send the masked freak to console the puppet… Now come on lets have some fun watching a bloodbath, shall we?" "No, that's not my idea of fun…un" Deidara muttered. "Yeah I know, but I know you'd do anything to get rid of the little pest." Deidara smirked: "I think that has to wait, un." "You got some nerves Blondie. You letting the fucking puppet wait? Man you're either tough as nails or goddamn stupid and paranoid." "Stop your rambling un, will ya?" "Sure just this once, what is it bitch?" "Could you give this to Danna, un?" Deidara handed him a tiny clay bird. "Well, if it makes you happy moron, I'll do it. But just this once, you're getting it? And don't you dare to tell anyone I've been nice to you!" "Yeah, sure thing, un. Thanks Hidan", the blonde replied smiling. Hidan walked back to the Headquarter, the clay bird in his hand. He went directly to the artists' room just to find it empty. "What a bummer… I was so full of hope that the puppet finished the other wacko of…" Hidan sighed and placed the little gift on Sasoris' pillow.

Much later that evening Sasori returned to their room to find a small bird made of clay on his pillow. He smiled softly, that stupid brat. As soon as he had touched the little gift it exploded into a million tiny sparkling stars and brought out a little note. Sasori was stunned, but also marveling this little, beautiful action. He picked up the note and read:

_Dear Danna,_

_If Art is a bang, than our love must truly be art. Because every time you kiss and touch me I feel like exploding, and I'm burning into a crisp every time you lay your eyes on me. But art is eternal beauty as well, you made me realize that last night, when my whole world went black and only you could bring me back to reality._

Sasori felt his heart open up and butterflies emerging from the bottom of his stomach. That stupid brat, now the blonde had really wrapped him around his finger…


End file.
